I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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