There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Randomize
