So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
