I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Randomize
