I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
