We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
