haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize
