There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
