dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Randomize