i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
