HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I'm way too hungover for life right now
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Randomize
