everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
My butt remains clenched, sir.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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