I wish I could punch you in the face.
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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