My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Randomize
