I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Randomize
