Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
