Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
