I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize