I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
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