Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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