Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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