Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize