He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
