508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
