you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Randomize
