So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize