we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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