Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I accidentally had phone sex last night
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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