we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
He shit in the fireplace
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Randomize
