To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
