Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
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