I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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