last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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