the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
