walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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