feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
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