Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
