I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Randomize
