have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
