I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize