I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
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