If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
