i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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