i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
