I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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