There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
