If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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