Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
