Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I wish I only lived at night.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
