I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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