She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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