talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Do you have feelings for this penis?
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