Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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