Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
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