At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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