I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I smell like Dick and happiness
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
