My girlfriend figured out who you are.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize