I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
