I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
