Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
