go do what you do best...puke behind churches
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
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